Be sure not to mark your calendar: It’s time once again for what promises to be one of the most spectacular non-events of the year, the Antioch Rivertown Jamboree Phantom of the Delta, which is slated not to happen on Sept. 31. “Invitations” recently sent out by the “Bored” of Directors point out that the event features “No wondering what to wear,” “No name tags you can’t read” and “No no-host cocktails” to name a few things in its favor. The invitation asks for $29.89 per person or $299.89 for an entire table, and concludes with “By skipping our event in exchange for a contribution you will be directly helping the Antioch Rivertown Jamboree defray the cost of doing business.” If you’d like to not go, do send a check payable to the Jamboree, 301 W. 10th St., Antioch CA, 94509.

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Longtime Antioch volunteer and former City Councilman Leo Fontana was recently honored by the council with a proclamation and by Cal State East Bay with an honorary doctorate. In his thank-you speech to the council, Fontana shared the award with the hundreds and thousands of other volunteers who have helped make Antioch a better place. “A community is successful if the people within that community join with that community into bettering that community,” said Fontana. “When you hear people talking about Antioch in a negative fashion, you should stand up and praise Antioch for all they have done over the years. We should all be proud that we are part of Antioch. We will progress. I think Antioch will march forward.” Fontana then received a standing ovation from the council members and audience.

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Some crooks have an odd way of disguising themselves – and the evidence of their nefarious intentions. Last month, a guy walked into the Umpqua Bank on Lone Tree Way in Antioch wearing surgical gloves and a surgical scrub shirt pulled over the lower portion of his face. Hmm. For some inscrutable reason, his garb attracted the attention of everyone in the bank and forced the “surgeon” to make a hasty exit. Minutes later, police officers tracked him down and saw him throw away a piece of paper – his note demanding money from the bank teller. Was he saving the manuscript for some sentimental reason? (“Ah, my first stick-’em-up note.”) Well, it definitely ended up in someone’s archives, and Doctor Dunce ended up in the slammer.

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If you haven’t been to the Brentwood Farmers’ Market yet this season, you’re missing out. Fresh-cut flowers have been popping out of the First Street location faster than you can dial 1-800-FLOWERS. Roses, sunflowers and mixed bouquets in a dazzling display of color and composition rival those of any high-end florist over the Hill or across the Bay. And at a ridiculously low $7 for a bunch of blooms so big you can hardly hold it, East County is well on its way to being known for more than its abundant berries and farm-fresh produce.

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Brentwood’s Paul With, 11, earned the bronze medal for his age division at the national Jr. Olympic Skills Competition last month in the basketball category, which challenges participants to score as many points as possible by making baskets from designated shooting areas and the free throw line in 45 seconds. Congratulations, Paul!

– Compiled by Press Staff